Today is our anniversary. We decided not to do Vegas this year. It hard with two kids LOL so we talked and decided a quiet dinner would be good for us this year. We went to Five All's and as we were sitting there we decided since we were so close to the hospital we would stop by PCMC and see Teagan. I was preparing to be so strong for Brytt but as soon as I saw her my heart broke and I could not stop crying. We listened to all the procedures little Teagan had to endure. As she was talking I couldn't help but notice her countance. Here she is dealing and here I stand just wishing I could be as strong.
Jace and I went to Teagan bed. Walking in and seeing all the sweet spirits is overwhelming. Teagan was sleeping looking so perfect and calm. Brytt explains a few things to us like a pro and again I can't believe how amazing she is. Again! I am there to support and cheer her up but for some reason I can't stop the tears. I feel kind of silly because I totally cannot control my emotions. I finally manage to get it together and Brytt says something that I will never forget. "HIS SPIRIT IS SO MUCH BIGGER THAN HIS BODY” I could not agree with her more. Here lies a 16 pound baby boy only a few months old and already he has changed my life. He makes me want to be a better mother, wife, friend but most of all a better member of the church. Teagan spirit IS bigger than his tiny body and he is amazing.
As Jason and I drove out of the parking lot again me sobbing. I look out and see the beautiful valley. Jason and I talk about Brytt and her trials and her attitude and her heartache. Yet she stays so strong!
Tonight I felt the true love of Christ. I want so bad to take away Brytt's pain and I want Teagan to stop being poked and away from home. Tonight it clicked. Why Jesus did it. I have struggled with the idea of why he did it for a long time and tonight Teagan taught me. I will never for this anniversary! Teagan you are an amazing boy and though you may never know what you have done for me I thank you and your wonderful family for helping me be a better person.
Much love
Heather
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1 comment:
What a beautiful anniversary gift you got! Thank you so much for sharing your feelings. It is truly amazing the sacrifice our Savior made for us, and sometimes we forget how important it is. Its nice to have reminders along the way, even if they are sometimes painful ones.
Happy Anniversary to you and Jason!
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